Parental Involvement in Therapy with Minors

Jun 28

“Your relationship with your child is like a boat. You are their safe harbor. Eventually your teen will launch from your safe harbor and go out into the world and see how scary and unknown the open ocean truly is. They are going to need a safe harbor to come back to when they get overwhelmed. Your teen will need to have a strong boat that will survive all the storms they face when they are out in the world on their own so that they can always find their way back to their safe harbor, if they need to.”

The Role of Parents in Teen Therapy

Therapy is often the first time a young person is encouraged to identify and explore their emotions. When your teen is given the gift of exploring their thoughts and feelings in a non-judgmental and compassionate space, they can use those skills for the rest of their lives. You play a crucial role in supporting your teen’s therapeutic journey. By providing emotional support, understanding, and encouragement, you can create a nurturing environment that complements the therapeutic process. Your involvement can significantly impact therapeutic outcomes, as teens often feel more motivated and secure when they know their parents are engaged and supportive. Additionally, you can help reinforce therapeutic strategies at home, facilitating progress and long-term success.

Maintaining a supportive presence without overstepping boundaries is essential. You should respect your teen's need for privacy and autonomy in therapy while remaining involved and informed. Encouraging independence allows your teen to take ownership of their therapeutic journey, fostering self-efficacy and personal growth. You must strike a balance between being a supportive ally and respecting your teen's individual space and growth. Modeling healthy boundaries and treating your teen like an emotionally mature adult will actually give them a sense that you are trustworthy and honest when they come to you for help.

Benefits of Parental Involvement in Therapy

Parental involvement provides a stable and supportive home environment, crucial for your teen's emotional well-being. One of the best ways to be involved is to model emotional regulation and active listening skills for your teen. By being present and engaged, you can help your teen navigate their emotional ups and downs more effectively. Often, if your teen sees you managing tough situations, they will feel more confident in their ability to ride the wave of emotions as well.

Active parental involvement facilitates better parent-teen communication, leading to more open and trusting relationships. By engaging in meaningful conversations and actively listening, you can bridge communication gaps, making it easier for your teen to express their feelings and concerns. In fact, your teen will be more willing to communicate if they feel you are not trying to compare your experiences to theirs. Instead, get curious about their experiences and acknowledge that while you have your own perspective, you genuinely want to understand theirs.

Challenges of Parental Involvement in Therapy

Respecting your teen’s need for privacy in therapy is crucial. Navigating confidentiality and sensitive topics can be challenging, but it's important to trust the therapeutic process. Allow your teen the space to express themselves freely without fear of parental judgment or interference.

Avoid projecting your personal biases or expectations onto your teen. Recognize and manage your own anxiety or stress to prevent it from influencing your teen’s therapeutic journey. By maintaining self-awareness and fostering an open, supportive environment, you can better support your teen’s growth and healing.

I like to use this analogy with parents whose teen is in therapy. You have apples and your teen has oranges. It would be unfair to your teen to compare your apples to their oranges, as the saying goes. Trying to compare your apples to their oranges might actually invalidate the fact that they have different fruit than you do. And finding them an expert on oranges does not mean you talking about your apples is not unhelpful. You can talk about fruit with your teen AND give them the space to talk about their oranges.

Working with Therapists

Building a strong partnership with your teen’s therapist is crucial. Engage actively in the process by understanding the therapist’s recommendations and strategies. Attend sessions when invited and ask questions to clarify treatment plans and goals. This collaborative effort ensures you are on the same page, fostering a unified support system for your teen. Your teen’s therapist is also on your side, the reality is that you will be there for your teen longer than your therapist and your therapist wants you and your teen to have a strong relationship.

Your role as a parent includes being an advocate for your teen’s needs. Provide the therapist with necessary information and insights about your teen's behavior, history, and any relevant concerns. This helps tailor the therapeutic approach to better suit your teen’s unique needs. Teens might not be able to articulate the whole picture of their world, and that is where you can help fill in blanks when appropriate.

Conclusion

Just as your relationship with your child is like a boat and you are their safe harbor, your involvement in their therapy journey is crucial. When your teen ventures into the uncharted waters of life, they need the skills and confidence to navigate the storms they will encounter. Your support, understanding, and active participation in their therapy provide the sturdy foundation of that boat, ensuring it can withstand the challenges ahead. By being a consistent, reliable presence, you help them build resilience and create a safe space for them to return to when needed.

In this collaborative journey, your teen will learn to trust not only the therapeutic process but also the unwavering support you offer. Respecting their privacy, modeling healthy behaviors, and maintaining open communication can make a significant difference in their therapeutic outcomes. Remember, your involvement is not about steering their ship but about being the harbor they can always return to, reinforcing their ability to sail confidently through life's tumultuous seas. Together, you and your teen can navigate the journey towards emotional well-being and personal growth, anchored by the strong relationship you continue to build.