how to deal with mental and emotional tolls of infertility

When my wife and I started trying to have children, we had rarely heard anyone talk about their struggles with getting pregnant. In the rare circumstances it was brought up, it always had a classic fairytale ending.

“Oh we tried for months for our first!” (They say while they hold a child in their arms and have two others running around their legs)
“My cousin took years to get pregnant but now they have five kids! It will happen for you.”
“We couldn’t get pregnant for a while too. Have you tried…?”

After four years of trying, we realized we might not be one of the lucky couples that just “gets pregnant.” We decided to run some tests at a fertility clinic, and lo and behold, we were one of the 1 in 7 couples in the U.S. to struggle with infertility.

The Emotional & Mental Tolls of Dealing with Infertility

If you deal with infertility it touches every part of your life and there are many emotional & mental tolls. You will likely experience:

Financial strains
Decision fatigue around treatment and other options
Information/research overload
Hope/hopelessness
Questioning part of your identity or future ("Will I be a mom/dad? Is there is something wrong with me?”).

Your wellness and self-care are strained at every stage of the process as injectable hormones, uncertainty, and stress become part of your daily life. Not to mention the sheer amount of time and energy devoted to the process—managing appointments for bloodwork, check-ups, pre-op, post-op, and recovery— while juggling the “normal” life stressors can be overwhelming. You may feel varying degrees of these at different times, all of which can be challenging to work through.

Infertility also impacts your romantic relationship and your relationships with those around you. Often, the support systems you have may feel inadequate, or like others just don’t understand what you are going through. While support can often be found through friends, family, and church groups, the nature of infertility as a vulnerable experience may limit your current support system's understanding. This makes it challenging to draw up the kind of support you need while navigating the process.

Getting Infertility & IVF Support

As someone who has gone through this process, I believe that one of the primary challenges people face while experiencing infertility issues is finding support. Finding support with others experiencing similar circumstances can be a great way to help you navigate the challenges of infertility and fertility treatments. A support group can be a space where you can openly express how you feel, in a non-judgmental environment, with people that have an intimate understanding of what you are going through.

If a support group for infertility and fertility treatments is something you or someone you know may be interested in, please reach out via email me (below) or check out our Online Infertility & IVF Support Group.

Getting Support When Facing Infertility

The Emotional & Mental Tolls of Dealing with Infertility

Getting Infertility & IVF Support

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