How to Support Someone Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, a time to shine light on a topic that too often stays hidden in the shadows. Suicidal thoughts can feel overwhelming, scary, and even unspeakable, both for the person experiencing them and for the loved ones who want to help.
While it may feel intimidating to start a conversation about suicide, silence only deepens isolation. Talking openly about suicidal thoughts can actually reduce risk, provide relief, and remind someone they are not alone. Your presence and compassion can truly save a life.
What Suicidal Thoughts Really Mean
Suicidal thoughts or suicidal ideation are not uncommon. They often signal intense emotional pain and a belief that life’s struggles feel unbearable or unchangeable.
But here’s the truth: wanting the pain to end is not the same as wanting life to end. Many people who have experienced suicidal thoughts describe them as moments of desperation, not a permanent desire to die. With the right support and resources, hope and healing are absolutely possible.
Common Signs
Everyone experiences and expresses distress differently, but some common signs may include:
Talking about feeling hopeless, worthless, or like a burden
Withdrawing from family, friends, or activities they once enjoyed
Sudden mood changes, especially a shift from despair to a sudden calmness
Engaging in risky or reckless behaviors
Giving away meaningful possessions or saying goodbye in unusual ways
Trust your intuition. If something feels “off” with someone you care about, it’s worth checking in.
Why Talking About Suicide Matters
There are many myths about suicide, one of the biggest being that asking about it will “put the idea in someone’s head.” Research shows the opposite is true. Asking directly can reduce risk and provide relief.
When someone is carrying heavy thoughts alone, being asked gently and directly communicates: “I see you. I care. You don’t have to carry this by yourself.” That message can interrupt shame, offer comfort, and open the door to getting professional help.
How to Support a Loved One
1. Listen Without Judgment
Let them talk openly, even if it feels uncomfortable. Resist the urge to “fix” or offer quick solutions. Often, the most healing gift is simply listening with presence and compassion.
2. Ask Directly
It’s okay to ask, “Are you thinking about suicide?” You won’t make things worse; you’ll show you’re safe to confide in.
3. Stay Connected
Check in regularly. A quick text or phone call can remind them they are not alone and that their life matters.
4. Encourage Professional Help
Offer to help them connect with a counselor, doctor, or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You don’t have to have all the answers; you just need to help guide them to support.
Caring for Yourself
Supporting someone in crisis can feel heavy. It’s important to acknowledge your own limits and care for yourself, too.
Lean on your own support system: friends, family, colleagues, or a therapist.
Remember that you can walk alongside someone, but you cannot carry their struggles for them.
Engage in grounding practices: deep breathing, journaling, or quiet time, to release stress and stay balanced.
Your well-being matters, too. Taking care of yourself ensures you can keep showing up with presence and compassion.
Immediate Resources
If you or someone you love is experiencing suicidal thoughts, help is available right now:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.): Call or text 988
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
Emergency Services: If someone is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department.
You do not have to face this alone. Support is just one conversation away.
Gentle Steps You Can Take Today
Reach out to someone you’ve been thinking about; you never know how much it may mean.
Ask open-ended questions like, “How have you been holding up lately?” or “What’s been on your heart?”
Share resources like 988—letting them know help is accessible at any time.
Offer to sit with them, make the call together, or help find a therapist.
Even small acts of care can plant seeds of hope.
Closing Thoughts
Suicide thrives in silence, but hope grows when we speak. Your courage to ask, listen, and stay connected can change the course of someone’s story. Remember, you don’t need perfect words or professional expertise to make a difference. You just need to be present, compassionate, and willing to walk alongside someone in their pain.
This September, and every month after, let’s commit to breaking the silence around suicide. Together, we can create a culture of openness, care, and connection because no one should struggle alone.
