Recognizing Your Core Self: Finding the Steady Center Within
There’s a part of you that is calm even when life is chaotic. A part that knows who you are beyond your fears, roles, and responsibilities. This part isn’t reactive or judgmental—it simply is.
For many people, this Self can feel hidden. Life experiences, protective parts, and inner critics can cloud our sense of who we are deep down. But the Self never disappears. It’s always there—waiting for space, for connection, for recognition.
Let’s explore what the core Self looks and feels like, and how you can begin to reconnect with it.
What Is the Core Self?
The Self isn’t a single mood or thought. It’s a steady, compassionate presence within you. When you're in Self, you feel connected to your truth. You can listen to your parts without becoming overwhelmed by them.
The Self is defined by qualities like:
Calm
Curiosity
Clarity
Compassion
Confidence
Courage
Creativity
Connectedness
You might notice that when you’re grounded in Self, your choices feel more aligned. You respond instead of react. You see yourself and others more clearly.
Why It’s Hard to Access Self?
We all carry parts—protective voices that try to manage, defend, or fix things for us. These parts aren’t bad. In fact, they’ve helped you survive. But sometimes, they take over so fully that they drown out the voice of the Self.
Some common parts that block access to Self:
The inner critic
The perfectionist
The controller
The people-pleaser
The worrier
These parts often act from fear. And when fear is in the driver’s seat, the Self’s voice can feel distant. The goal is not to get rid of these parts, but to relate to them differently—from a place of compassion and curiosity.
Signs You’re in Self:
You don’t have to be totally calm or enlightened to be in Self. Even small moments of Self-energy can make a difference. Here’s how you might know you’re there:
You feel spacious, not rushed
You’re open to hearing different perspectives
You can hold discomfort without shutting down
You feel compassion for yourself or others
You’re curious, not judgmental, about what’s happening inside
If you feel stuck or reactive, ask: Can I access even 10% more calm or curiosity right now? That small shift can invite Self forward.
A Practice: Stepping Into Self
1. Pause and take one deep breath.
Inhale slowly. Exhale fully.
2. Gently ask yourself:
"What am I feeling right now?"
"Can I be with this feeling without trying to change it?"
3. Place a hand on your chest or stomach.
Feel your breath move in and out. Stay here for a few breaths.
4. Turn your attention inward with curiosity:
What does this feeling or thought want me to know?”
What’s happening inside me right now?”
Even this short pause can invite a little more clarity, compassion, and calm—hallmarks of your core Self.
Final Thoughts
You don’t need to find something new or become someone different. Your core Self has always been with you, even if it feels a bit hidden sometimes. This journey is about gently making space to notice it again.
